Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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