Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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