Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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