Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Everclear isn't food dammit
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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