there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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