a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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