Say something about gay babies.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
