omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
