Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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