i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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