Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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