you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
