The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
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