Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
