I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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