Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
