she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
