from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
