You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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