Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
the liver wants what the liver wants
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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