have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
