I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
