3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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