I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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