I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize