WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
