dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
