i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
