I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
