Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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