come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Randomize
