do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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