FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Randomize
