Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
