I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
This is the high leading the old right now
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
