She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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