Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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