East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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