the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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