He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
