Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So vagazzling was a success
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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