She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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