So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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