it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
