hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
