She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
