4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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