Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
