Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
