if i can run in heels then i can drive
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
