gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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