i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
