he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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