My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
