It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
