i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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