I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
