so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I think my moral compass just broke
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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