is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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