i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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