Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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