Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
